As I wrote at the beginning of this month, I had my first CrossFit competition this month! This was the scene during “Jackie”, the 2nd WOD of the day.
I wore my Splits59 nova trailblazers in hype, which I bought expressly for the purpose of this competition–first competition warrants new pants, yes? I kept it simple with a black cool racerback and let the pinkest of pink pants take the spotlight.
Jackie f(*&ed me up.
50 thrusters at nearly half my bodyweight was, well, pretty motherloving rough. The WODs were originally announced with a 15-minute cap for Jackie, and I was really bummed when they cut it to 12 minutes. The shorter cap didn’t leave me enough time for pull-ups, i.e. the one movement in the WOD where I stood a chance at catching people. I finished the thrusters with literally 10 or 15 seconds on the clock and was able to knock out 7 of the 30 pull-ups, which was more than I would’ve expected in such a small window, but obviously less than I would’ve liked.
Although it was quite chilly in the morning, it warmed up in the afternoon so I swapped my novas for my trusty speed shorts in fatigue camo and more pink (paris perfection cool racerback). I spied another lady who had also changed into her fatigue speeds and I nearly swapped them for my inky florals (of course I brought backup), but then I saw that she changed into her fatigue tech mesh crops–HAH, I win!
After Jackie, I had a WOD with 10 minutes to find a 1RM back squat. I easily back squat 140 the last time I went for a 1RM (I might even be able to do 150), but after the thrusters wrecked my legs, I could only muster 125–not very impressive with other girls hitting numbers well over 200. Right after squatting, we had 2 minutes to accumulate as much kettlebell swing weight as we could. We chose the bell, and the reps were multiplied by the weight, which I thought added an interesting strategic element.
I gamed the crap out of the final WOD of the day (there were 2 more I didn’t talk about–Annie and a shuttle sprint EMOM–for a total of 5 WODs). It was an 8 min AMRAP with alternating minutes of bar facing burpees and deadlifts. The catch: your burpees were scored separately from your deadlifts. Now, the prescribed 155# deadlifts were way too heavy for me because my deadlift is embarrassingly weak (I squat about the same as I deadlift–what?). That said, I can cycle bar facing burpees like nobody’s business.
So, I did 0 deadlifts. None, zip, nada, zilch. I didn’t even touch the bar and instead took a full minute of rest while everyone else burned themselves out on the deads. I knew that even with max effort, my placing in the deadlift portion would be last place or close to it, so instead I saved my strength (and my back) and focused on nabbing a super-high rank on the burpees.
It turned out to be a good strategy: I got 2nd place in the burpees* and happily accepted my dead-last deadlift rank. Considering my average ranking for the WODs was in the bottom half of the pack, averaging these to a rank in the middle was way more preferable than taking 2 low ranks, and it moved me up by a couple slots.
*Some lady beat me out by 1 rep AND she was doing the deadlifts–swear words were uttered. I mean seriously?? Gawd.
Overall, I have to say I was a little disappointed in the day. First of all, I had been under the weather 2 days before, so I assume my body had some crap floating around that was stealing some of my energy. More to the point, basically all of the WODs hit my weaknesses: the shuttle sprints highlighted my slow running, my weaknesses in Jackie held me back such that I got time capped before I could get to my strength, Annie was a disaster with my unfortunate double unders, etc etc.
Going in, I had set what I felt was a modest and realistic goal for myself: I wanted to place in the top half of the female division (due to the structure of the WODs, they didn’t need an RX and scaled division, so we were all together). Instead, I placed 23rd out of 27, which frankly was not even close.
Ouch.
I love to be great at what I do, and I love competitions because I love measuring my abilities and pushing myself to the limit. I’ve worked extremely hard in my 1.5 years of crossfitting, and I think it’s safe to say I take it more seriously than many (most?) others. I don’t CrossFit to “get toned” or even just to “have fun” (although I do!), I’m there because I truly want to perform well. I know that being the best in the world is not in the cards for me, but I DO strive to be reasonably good at it. (Who doesn’t want to be good at things they like?)
With that in mind, it’s hard to see all my hard work add up to something highly unremarkable. With a few exceptions, most of the time I perform roughly on the same level as women who are older, pregnant/recently pregnant, new to CrossFit, scared of the barbell, or very much out of shape. Now, I don’t mean to be rude or condescending, I only say this to point out that I don’t measure up to those who are at similar stages of their fitness journey and/or have similar goals as I do. In other words, my peers in theory (or who I want my peers to be) are not the same as my peers in practice. That makes it hard not to feel left out or inadequate.
Being a competitive person, I struggle a lot with this. You can tell yourself “it’s just you against yourself” or whatever all day, and yes, some days I do feel proud on an individual level, but it’s hard to not be affected and discouraged by the bigger picture. I wish I had something positive to say here, like “I spent time thinking about it and I had such and such revelation and now I feel great!” but truthfully I don’t. I’m still trying to figure out how to emotionally reconcile my hard work and my desire to be excellent with my disappointing results in competitions and in daily WODs.
So there you go. #realtalk
There is really nothing remarkable here about my combo of my heathered medium grey CRB and bruised berry speeds, although what WAS remarkable–in the worst way–was the fact that shortly after this pic was taken, I snagged my speeds on a thorny bush. There’s about an inch of looped thread sticking out that I haven’t yet mustered up the courage to try to fix. These are the hazards of wearing 4-way stretch, my friends.
Of course, the remarkable part wasn’t what *I* wore, but what the earth wore, if you’ll excuse the cheesiness. We drove down to Sedona with a small group of friends for a low-key 6-mile hike. Sedona is almost other worldly in its loveliness, and I’m lucky to have it basically in my back yard.
Speaking of other worldliness, a lot of people actually believe Sedona possesses extremely strong spiritual qualities, particularly for its vortexes. The vortexes are sites that are claimed to have electromagnetic properties that greatly enhance healing, meditation, prayer, and experiencing whatever divinity you prefer. A pamphlet I read from the National Park Service cited one study that found 64% of the many, many tourists who come to Sedona are seeking some kind of spiritual experience. Our hike circled Bell Rock, a popular vortex destination.
We found this rotunda rock formation along the trail, and it turned out that you could get up on top of it on the back side without too much trouble. The vistas from the ground were nice themselves, but the top of the rotunda offered even better vantage points (click through for bigger versions, if you are so inclined):
These are the things that make northern Arizona feel like a really cool place to be. …Even though I live 2.5 hours from lulu.
Last weekend, my honey and I went on a 10-mile hike out to the top of one of the mountains in town. This one is smaller, “only” 9300 ft (keep in mind, we start at about 7000)–we haven’t tackled the other one yet, which is about 12,500 ft. I wore my laceoflage embossed inkwell keep it up jacket (which I happen to think is a pretty underrated jacket) with a full tilt long sleeve and inky floral speed shorts. It was a tad on the cold side and cloudy to boot, so this ended up being just the right level of warmth for my core while keeping my legs cool. Plus, I’ve never really liked hiking in crops for some reason.
This side of the mountain reminds me a little of the east coast: dense and woody.
People actually mountain bike through here! They call it the “hobbit forest”, which is a name I can totally get behind.
In the second half of the hike toward the top of the mountain, we hiked along a ridge with some really cool vistas (click through for a bigger version). The tip you see near the center of the picture is where we hiked to. This side of the mountain looks and feels very different from the other–much more exposed and dusty/dry.
This picture makes Smokey the Bear sad: a 15,000 acre wildfire in 2010 devastated the back half of this mountain from what was believed to be an abandoned campfire. Some of the vegetation has grown back, but it still has a long way to go.
From the 9300 ft summit, looking toward the larger mountain. There are a lot of radio towers and things at the top, hence the road that leads up to to the top. If you look left from this vantage point, this mountain overlooks town–we could see our house from the top, and I can see the top where we hiked from the window in the room where I’m typing right now.
Also: I saw a tarantula near this part of the trail, but I’ll spare you the pic. :)
On the way back, I got one of my most favorite picture that I’ve instagrammed so far. This is in the valley between the two mountains.
Bonus regular outfits:
Splits59 black vail cutout pullover
YogaSmoga verdi run jump ‘n play crops
Lululemon black om onward leg warmers
(Layered: lululemon paris perfection cool racerback and bang buster)
Nope, I did not wear this ironically. Yup, it is totally 90s fabulous. That said, I would probably wear this again because apparently I give zero bothers. Apparently 7-yr-old me is still in there somewhere and she still likes wearing leggings and weird color combos.
Lululemon brisk bloom scuba hoodie
Lululemon bali breeze swiftly v-neck
Alala cobalt captain crops
This, on the other hand, came out much more, you know, grown up. I loved how the bali turned out with the cobalt–I’ve really been liking the way jewel tones pair with a lighter, more airy color for contrast.
I hope you feel better soon and hey, at least you looked smoking hot in those pink nova crops. Do you think taking a pre workout shake might help in giving you more energy for crossfit?
If it did help, I imagine it would only be a small change, like 5-10% greater performance, which isn’t nearly enough to account for where I want to be. But I definitely do notice differences in my performance depending on what I’ve been eating, for example. It’s never extreme enough to magically turn me into an elite crossfitter though, sadly, lol.
Also, yes: even if I can’t be the strongest, at least I can try to out-fashion the competition, hah!!!
You definetly get 1st in the fashion show! ;) The most important goal.
Darn straight. ;)
Can I just say that this is my favorite ever post – insightful, reflective and inspiring. We all have out inner turmoils from time to time, but few are as honest about them as you. Hang in there – in the end, all that really matters is that you worked as hard as you could for yourself. No one else truly matters. Sedona is now on my bucket-list! Incredible :) Happy Sunday!
Thank you, I’m so glad to hear it resonated with you. :) I think it’s the longest post I’ve ever written, and I’m frankly surprised at how many people seem to actually have read it, haha. I know rationally that my own performance is what REALLY should matter to me, but we are such social creatures that it’s really a challenge to put on the proverbial horse blinders and ignore what others are doing. And yes–come to Sedona! This whole region has lots of really unusual things to offer (google Antelope Canyon–it’s a couple hours north of me and should be another thing on your list if you find yourself in AZ!).
I’m in Tahoe so AZ is nice and close…. I’m already proposing a Sedona vacay to my family :) Keep up your great work – funny how your blogs (helped by your sense of humor, great writing style and general awesomeness!) really resonate with others. I’m a 43-year old British mother of 5 and yet I feel I have more in common with you than all the other Lulus in the blogosphere ;) Thanks for all you do!
Tahoe is on my list too! It’s about 11 hours from me so it would be a bigger trip, but I’ve wanted to go for a long time. And again, I’m so glad to hear that what I write is (at least occasionally…) relatable. :) I think that’s what anyone who has a public internet presence shoots for!
I feel similar to the way you do when I’m doing group workouts, and although I’m not as disappointed by it as you are (I’m also not a competitive person at all…), I am perplexed by it. I recently started working with a personal trainer for the first time, though, and I’m hopeful that my fitness level will improve. And like you said, it’d be nice to feel like I’m good at this stuff! Anyway, maybe you’d find a personal trainer helpful as well in getting to where you want to be? (Forgive me if this sounds stupid… I’m not a crossfitter so I’m sure I have a different perspective.)
Sedona looks awesome… I’m thinking my next vacay has to be in the Southwest. I actually first heard of Sedona while I was in Japan. It’s a pretty famous destination there and known, as you say here, as a “power spot”… a vague spiritual term in popular use these days. Your photos are a lot more persuasive!
Btw, I love your favorite pic from the competition too! You look so happy :) And those alala crops… *sigh*
A personal trainer might be helpful, but definitely not in the cards for me money-wise at the moment. I think the biggest thing they would offer would be a trained eye to help me really hone in on some technique, which is of course a big part of so much in crossfit and any athletic endeavor. Regardless, it’s just frustrating that I have to bust my caboose to reach a level that others have gotten to with much, MUCH more minimal effort.
And yes, since moving here I have discovered so many incredible things here that are really worth making the trip for. I’m a native east coaster and had never even set foot in any part of the southwest until this past January when I moved and drove here with all my crap in my Jeep. Southern Utah has some amazing places which I haven’t been to yet (Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, etc), I’m an hour away from the Grand Canyon and many other national monuments (still need to do a rim-to-rim hike!), plus there’s Antelope Canyon and other slot canyons in AZ/UT, and of course Sedona. For any vaguely outdoors-loving kind of person, the whole region is a hotspot.
Congratulations on your first competition! Even though you didn’t do as well as you hoped don’t be so hard on yourself! Competitions are quite a different beast from attending a daily wod, and it can take a couple of tries to get some experience under your belt. I had a similar result my first time out. However, my big breakthrough came when I stopped chasing numbers and times and started having fun in competitions and in daily wods. Stick with it and the results will come (at least I keep telling myself that, lol).
Great job, keep up the great work on the blog.
PS – perhaps next time, try a team competition out. They typically will have more varied movements and take some of the pressure off.
Thanks for the input. :) Honestly, a big reason I haven’t considered a team/partner competition is that I worry I would put *more* pressure on myself since my performance is affecting others. I also feel like anyone who would want to compete would be past my life, and therefore I would basically be holding them back, or they’d just be “humoring me”, if you will. Maybe if I found the right person, that wouldn’t be an issue, but as of yet the opportunity hasn’t arisen. It seems like competition season here is more winter/spring (since it’s too hot in most of AZ during the summer), so I’m hoping another opportunity will pop up soon. It sure would be nice if this one was a fluke and my next one goes much better. :)
I love this post! I think you’re going to get only better with experience, and the most important thing is to continue having fun (and I don’t mean this in a consoling way). You definitely looked very good out there, love the combination of hot pink/black.
I’m your opposite! I only wear crops or tights for hikes, so if I fell, hopefully the abrasions won’t get too bad. I’ve just returned from east java, indonesia, where I had climbed up a mini live volcano and down to its crater (ijen), and after, hiked through some waterfalls, in black inky floral roll down wunder unders which held up so well, so I’m very pleased. The volcanos of indonesia were worshipped by the locals and are supposed to hold mystic power as well. I felt absolutely nothing.
I’m the same way, I’m not usually very in tune with that sort of thing either! Never experienced anything metaphysical in Sedona at all. Also that sounds like a really awesome trip!! Hope you had a great time. :)
Don’t be too hard on yourself. I know you are disappointed, but I have followed your journey here, and I am more than impressed! You work hard, and deserve to take pride in that. Hopefully on you next competition, you will get to show off on some of you favorite skills like pull ups. I wish I could do just one!
Thank you for the encouragement. :) I had a good day at the gym today, so that definitely helps! I guess it’s normal to have good and bad days, I just hope I can find better ways to emotionally manage the bad ones. Hopefully I’ll get to do another comp in the next couple/few months and be happier with my results. :)
Hi from Australia. You look awesome in the pictures – super fit and super fashionable. It is a shame you feel crappy, because you are most definitely in the top level of fitness compared to the rest of the population (number 20something out of a few million is pretty awesome)… I love to read your posts.
Thank you!! :) I guess sometimes the not-so-rational part of the brain tends to take over and have pity parties, and it can be hard to reel that in and keep perspective. It’s a process, for sure!
this entire post is just effin’ AWESOME!!! you look GORGEOUS and so strong in all your pics and then the ones outside – just wow, so beautiful!! you are an inspiration!! and your blog is just, it’s just FAB!! thanks!!
I can always count on you to bring the positivity! Thank you so much. :)
Don’t let your performance get to you!!! You are in fantastic shape!!! Thanks for the awesome post and please don’t get discouraged!!! I hope to hear about another crossfit comp soon
I hope to tell about another comp soon! :) Thank you for the kind words. I had a great day at the gym today so that always helps. :)
can we talk about how BAMF those inly floral speeds look? yeah baby!
Thanks. :) I love my inkys! They’re one of my favorite pairs right now, I always find myself reaching for them. Need more inky floral in my life.
love this post! you are so cute. that is all.
Aw thanks!! <3 :)
I also loved your honesty with this post. I totally feel you. As for snags, check out the
Snag Nab-It Tool. It’s a glorified needle, but it’s pretty great at fixing picks.
I think I’m mostly just scared that using something sharp is gonna make a whole new snag or hole. Eeeep! I guess I just have to grit my teeth and try it. Worst case scenario, they’re a recent enough release that I should have no trouble finding a replacement for a reasonable price if I do (heaven forbid) ruin them.
This was your first competition. Don’t let it or any one event define you as an athlete! The workouts weren’t suited to your best skills, and maybe the other competitors have been doing it longer than you & have more experience in competitions. Try instead focusing your disappointment on a plan to improve. Maybe one of your crossfit coaches could help you. And maybe you should do more competitions. Maybe it just wasn’t your day! I do think that some things come easier to some people, but i also think it’s probably more rewarding to those of us who have to work harder for it. I’m sure if you keep working at it you’ll see improvement & get to where you want to be!
I definitely want to do more competitions, hopefully sometime in the next couple months! I’m hoping this was just a combination of a lot of less-than-ideal things and that my next comp will be more positive. :)
Also, it was a little bit outside the scope of the post, but there are some things I can’t really change that I think legitimately put me at a disadvantage. For example, I have an unusually small frame. Even though I’ve gained about 6 lbs in the past 2 years, I still can’t move anywhere near the same kind of weight that the 140-lb girls can. It takes mass to move mass, plain and simple. On top of that, cardio-intensive things like running have always been hard for me because of some mysterious breathing issue. So, sometimes I get sad or frustrated because my body seems to just not be built to be great at crossfit–it definitely complicates my feelings because it can make the whole thing feel like an exercise in futility. It really begs the question of whether I actually CAN get to where I want to be, and I think that’s a tough thing to manage, emotionally. I want to be realistic about my goals, but sometimes that reality doesn’t look like what I wish it would look like.
Loved your honesty in this post. At least you looked good doing it, even if it wasn’t to your ultimate satisfaction. Keep on keeping’ on!
Thanks. :) Maybe next time I will be over the moon with my results–nothing to do but to keep working hard, though, as you said!!
New to your blog. Nice to put a face to your name. Enjoy all your humour. Thought that you did well and put in your best effort. Keep it up =)
Thanks for stopping by, I’m glad you’re enjoying what you’ve found so far!! :)