As I’ve grown up, life has defined and redefined what it means to love and be loved many times. When I was younger, I had this expectation stubbornly lodged in my mind that true love means everything flows naturally. I thought that true love meant that everything in the relationship would fit together and just work. I thought that with the right person, we would move together through life in perfect harmony, even when conflicts and challenges arose. I didn’t expect relationships to be easy, and I didn’t expect life to be perfect, but I definitely had this expectation that certain things would just make sense and work on their own.
The reality I’ve come to know is that love isn’t built on some magical and mysterious force that makes your relationship fall into place effortlessly. Maybe something magical and mysterious brings you together, but after that, the real bedrock of love is built on choices. Love is making the choice every day to never give up on each other, even when life tries to tear you apart and even when you disappoint each other.
In my journey, love isn’t love because you are instantly on the same team about everything. Love is learning what it means to be on the same team.
Love isn’t about finding the person where every aspect of your relationship fits together perfectly and naturally. Love is being together in spite of the things that don’t, because that person means so much to you.
Daniel and I went on our first date in 2010 in Charlottesville, Virginia. It didn’t take long before I knew that something was very special about him. He is unbelievably observant. He’s slow to anger and incredibly patient. He is kind to everyone, and goes out of his way to treat all of my friends and family like they’re special. He listens attentively to everything I say (and remembers it!), does chores around the house without being asked, cooks better than I do, takes blog photos without a single complaint, and loves and cares for my dogs as much as I do.
We’ve been through so, so much together in the past not-quite-6 years, from school pressure to long distance to a dislocated elbow in a strange town to unemployment to my picky eating making dinner dates difficult. We even survived 3 straight days of driving without so much as an argument. He’s taught me so much about what love is and so much about how to be a better partner and a better person.
When we went to Yosemite this year, Daniel secretly stashed a beautiful ring in his backpack. Several years ago, I had found an indie designer, Olivia Ewing, and shared her designs with him because I thought they were so pretty and unique. After all those years of saving her name, he picked out this beautiful sapphire ring, which is designed to look like two intertwined twigs. I don’t care for diamonds or flashy jewelry, so this simple but unique ring is just perfect for me.
When we hiked to the top of Yosemite Point, he asked me if I would marry him and be with him forever. Over the years, we’ve said yes to each other through every trial, so of course I said yes then, too. If you read about the hike when I first wrote about it, you might remember that we had to trek through snow to find this spot. It was a special moment since we not only had total solitude, but also because finding it at all was a challenge that we figured out together.
The funny thing is, I didn’t even know my own ring size, so there was no one he could ask and no way he could find out without being obvious. So he guessed! I was nervous to put it on since it’s a bit of a buzzkill for it to just not fit, but to our surprise, it fits perfectly. Can you believe it? Because I still can’t.
As for what’s next, a traditional wedding isn’t for me, for both personal and pragmatic reasons. Fortunately, Daniel was totally on board with my reasoning. In lieu of the usual wedding fanfare, we’ll go back to Yosemite this fall for a private ceremony with a small handful of family members. After a few days in Yosemite, we’ll be heading to New Zealand for our honeymoon. It’s hard to say which part I’m most excited about!
Thank you for reading this sappy little diversion from the usual active fashion fare and for sharing in my joy. :)
Long time reader here from Australia! Congratulations and many years of happiness ahead. Enjoy NZ.
Thanks Donna! We almost picked Australia, but decided NZ was more “us”. Plus, we wanted a full 2 weeks to do Aus, and this time we’ll only have about 10-12 days. Next time, though. :)
So happy for you! Many, many years of joy to come. The ring designs are beautiful and unusual too.
Thank you Wendy! I thought so too. :)
So happy for you – congrats!!
Thank you, Leanne!!
Conrgats! So happy for you!
And good for you for what doing what you want for your wedding (IMO small is the way to go.)
Thanks Sara! :) I agree, small is better for SO many reasons. Not to mention, this way we can budget more for our trip! :)
Just gorgeous – brought tears to my eyes! Wishing you both a lifetime of love and joy ahead xoxoxox
Thanks so much Claire! :) <3
Congratulation! What a bbeautiful post.
Thank you Andrea! :)
Congratulations, wishing lots of love, and happiness for your future together
Thank you! Hoping for the same. :)
Congratulations!!! and what a lovely story!
Thank you Jennifer. :)
Congratulations! Best wishes for a long and very happy marriage!
Thanks so much Monica! :)
What a beautiful testament of the love you two share! I am so proud of you and the amazing young women you have grown up to be! Yosemite is absolutely gorgeous and a perfect location for exchanging your wedding vows! Congratulations!
Thank you so much for such sweet words! I’m very excited about the next few months (and beyond!). We’d love to come to Oregon sometime and say hello. :)
Thank you for sharing your beautiful love story! Congratulations!
Thank you!! :)
Huge congrats to both of you!! That sounds like a great plan for the wedding and honeymoon too!
Thanks Catherine, I’m pretty excited about it!!
Wishing you a lifetime of love and adventures together. Congratulations to you both! :)
Thanks so much Deb. :)
Congratulations!!
Thanks Meg!!
i am so very happy for you both!
i am also happy that you were willing to share this lovely and very personal story with us. thank you!
(and please forgive me for asking if you were engaged months ago like a nosy, entitled a**hole!)
i look forward to hearing about your fabulous NZ honeymoon if you choose to share it with us :)
Haha not nosy! I just didn’t want to do a whole post about it in case someone I know in real life saw it before I told them, which I feel like could’ve been awkward, haha. I’m gonna try really hard not to turn this into a wedding blog because, ya know, off topic, but I’ll probably share little tidbits here and there. :)
Holy moly, totally made me teary-eyed. Best wishes to you and huge Congratuations to Daniel! So beautiful and refreshing. Thank you.
Oops, sorry about the typo – “Congratulations…”
Awww thanks so much! :)
Wow! Congratulations! Both of you look so happy together and so glad you shared a photo of the two of you:-)
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Thanks Priya! I figured it would be as good of a time as ever for him to make an actual appearance instead of just vague references. :)
Hi Tony.Delighted to see that you survived the move to W Sussex.I am a complete dunce with computers, so can’t really help you on this one.I did however “google ” us, and we were right there at the top of the list, looks like we need someone intelligent to get us noticed more ( Any volunteers ? )Thanks for sticking with us. Pete
Congrats! Long time reader from NZ, hit me up for some top hiking both popular and lesser known! You’ll love it here!
Thanks Mel! I would love to take you up on your offer. :) There’s a link to my email on the top menu bar if you feel like taking the time to share your thoughts! We haven’t planned much yet (besides booking the flight to Auckland) so I’ll take any advice I can get. :)
Congratulations!
I’m very happy for you!
Best wishes to you and your future husband!
Thank you Michele!!! :) :)
Congratulations and best wishes for a wonderful life together!
Thank you Christine!! So far so good. :)
Congratulations from another long time reader in NZ! You will love it here :)
Thanks Jess! I am SO EXCITED! I have wanted to visit NZ since I was 8!! Literally. :)
I thought I saw a pretty ring in some of your recent photos :D
Such great news, very happy for you and your plans for the wedding/honeymoon sound awesome. Congratulations!!
Hehe yup. :) Most people seem to assume it’s not an engagement ring since it’s not a diamond, so it’s very sneaky. ;)
Congratulations!! How wonderful. Made my day to read. <3 Mindy
Aw thanks Mindy! :) It is pretty wonderful!
Congrats :) So sweet and wonderful!
Thank you!! :)
Love your unique ring and the style of his proposal!! Thanks for sharing and CONGRATS!!! Glad to hear you’re both doing your wedding the way you would like! Many happy trails and years of hiking!!!
-Your exGrandCanyon/NowYosemiteFan
Thanks Vanessa. :) It was definitely very “us”. I hope the wedding ends up that way too–I think it will. :)
Thanks for sharing! Your ring is just perfect and I love how he proposed. Yay for small weddings. Congratulations! ❤?
Thank you Mel! I think it’s perfect too. :)
Congratulations! Your ring is absolutely beautiful :) I love how you’re doing your ceremony, and I can speak from experience that having something small, intimate, and personal to you is the way to go. Dan and I are also not traditional wedding people, so we decided to take a trip to Belize and have a “just the two of us” ceremony. It was absolutely perfect and I can look back at that time with happiness instead of thinking about how stressed I was. Congrats to both of you again!
Yes totally! I actually really hate most parties, especially when I can’t fade into the background, so I knew it would definitely NOT be anywhere near a dream day if I had all that to worry about. Just our parents is pretty much all I can handle! Our plan is to have a more informal get-together a couple months after, which won’t come with nearly the same pressures. Thanks for the vote of confidence. :)
Congratulations!! So glad you shared a picture of both of you in your “element” ;)
Hehe yes, soggy hair and all. :) And thank you!!
congratulations!! what a romantic proposal and sweet way to do your wedding, i love it!! also, i appreciated what you said about love being a choice… those are some wise words.
Thank you so much! I agree, it was awfully sweet. :)
Congratulations! As an expat in NZ my advice is dress warm. Temperatures here will probably feel colder than the same temperatures in North America (outdoors and especially indoors!) North Island is not bad but on the South Island you see people wearing down coats in summer. But it is beautiful, and worth it :)
Thank you so much for the tips! We will be there in October so it won’t be properly summer weather yet. I was wondering if I should bring warmer things like thermal weights, and it sounds like the answer is a resounding yes. :) We were definitely going to spend some time in the Queenstown area which I’m guessing will be quite brisk! But, like you said, no doubt it will be worth it!! Thanks again for sharing.
Congratulations to you both! And Thank you for sharing your lovely story :). You two look so happy together!
Thank you Saara! He is pretty great. :)
Congratulations! I’m so happy for you! It’s awesome that you’re making everything about this experience your own–from defining how love works for you two to a unique and beautiful ring to a meaningful ceremony. I also love how you’ve incorporated natural, beautiful places in your relationship. I also went to NZ for my honeymoon. You’ll love it! If you can swing it, you might consider stopping for a night or two in Tahiti on the way like we did. We’re not beach people, but it broke up the long flight nicely.
Thank you Jennifer! I’m definitely a “question everything” kind of person, so I couldn’t help but buck tradition at pretty much every step of the way. :)
So funny you went to NZ too! I feel like it’s not a particularly common destination. We actually managed to book nonstop flights from CA for surprisingly cheap, so hopefully that will make the travel time *relatively* painless. Tahiti is a great idea, though! I’d love to build that in as a stop at some point, even if not this time.
Love everything about this- gorgeous ring, beautiful love story, awesome proposal, and most importantly, amazing vision for love and life (I really need to take a page from your book on love). Congrats to you- not just on the proposal and beautiful ring, but for having a strong sense of what you like and not letting “customary” dictate your wishes. Thanks for sharing a little bit of your life!
Love the blog! Keep up the great work!
Thanks for the kind words, Sue. I am definitely a woman of strong opinions sometimes. :) But, I think that can make things even more special!
A wonderful story and congratulations!
I recently found out my brother, an avid hiker, got himself licensed, or “ordained”?!? to marry two friends atop a mountain, in a very private ceremony.
Your plans sound perfect :)
That’s awesome! Sounds pretty close to what I want to do too. ;)
Congratulations! I love that we all have our “Story” and I always want to hear others tell theirs. What a beautiful one and the ring is gorgeous. Best wishes! Can’t wait to see pics and read about New Zealand!
Yes, I love to hear others’ stories too! Thanks for the kind words, Staci. :)
Congratulations!!!!!! Your story reminds me of why I love my husband and our babies ?. NZ is perfect for your honeymoon. Loved your story!
Thank you!! I’m glad it could serve as a little reminder of why we love our people. :)
Aww congrats! Beautiful love story, beautiful ring, and your beau is super cute!
Thank you Alexis, I totally agree! ;)
Congrats, thank you for sharing. I look forward to wedding and honeymoon updates.
Thanks Nadine! I’ll definitely have to share a few snippets. :)
I’m relatively new to your blog, but in just a few weeks have become a big fan and feel like I’ve gotten to know you a teeny bit. This makes me so happy for you! Fully supportive of small weddings, unconventional ring, and doing your own thing!
Thanks so much Florencia! I think my plan is going to turn out great–I’m excited! Glad to have you here. :)
I’ve been following your blog for about a year now and see you on the fb lulu boards and I just wanted to say that I’m SOOO excited for you! However you choose to marry doesn’t matter, it’s your love and commitment to one another that matters. Me and my hubby just celebrated 10 years of marriage…we’ve been through a lot in 10 years and it certainly hasn’t been easy (normal highs and lows of life) but have always remained committed to each other and our vows. Wishing you many blessing.
Thanks so much Tina! You’re right that the wedding isn’t nearly as important as the actual marriage. Congrats on 10 years and I hope you have many more together!! :)
Big belated congratulations!
I’m a kiwi girl (based in Reno these days) and have directed lots of friends on what to do (and not do) in NZ. Let me know if you have any questions- I love playing tour guide! Though I sure you’ve been researching like crazy already!!
Thanks so much Ginnie! :) I’d love to hear your $0.02 on NZ plans if you’re up for sharing. I’ve done a bit of research but am still feeling a bit overwhelmed. Right now we’re planning to hit Hobbiton (probably will be a bit kitschy but I can’t not go!), the glow worm caves, and the Tongariro Crossing on the North Island. The South Island is still a pretty significant question mark–there are SO many options that all look great–I don’t want to miss any of them! D: